THE MIDWAY: PAUL BYRD, HANK STEINBRENNER & FREE KICKS

For some reason, Paul Byrd’s HGH story doesn’t jibe with Mark Shapiro’s comments. How odd. (The Meaningful Collateral)

How dare Joe Torre call that 1-year, $5 million offer a slap in the face? What is six World Series appearances in 12 years anyway? George made Torre. (Sons of Sam Malone)

Some of the sneakiest, cheekiest, most hilarious and entertaining free kicks in the history of soccer. (The Beautiful Game)

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THE MIDWAY: THE BILLS? NO THANKS, WEIRD BETS & JOE TORRE

The beautiful minds behind Epic Carnival (his words, not ours) believe that the “Toronto Bills” would be a wonderful thing. Thanks, but no thanks, says the Canadian. (Out Of Left Field)

Some fans make a bet for the UF/LSU game… the bet is well… you’ll see… (More Credible)

The equivalent of the New York Yankees not paying Joe Torre is like making Lance Armstrong ride a Huffy. (Bugs & Cranks)

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TOP TEN YANKEE HEADLINES THAT WILL DISTRACT VIEWERS FROM THE WORLD SERIES

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

Just in time for Game Five of the ALCS, the Yankees finally got around to the end of the Joe Torre Era, leading many observers to wonder if the timing was set up to distract the sports media’s attention on the Red Sox-Indians series. What headlines does the team have planned to keep the focus on them during the upcoming World Series?

10. THE YANKEES NEW MANAGER IS… a new reality show that’s on YES at the same time as those boring World Series games. Text your vote to see who gets voted off!

9. A-ROD TELETHON! The Yankees hold a 24-hour telethon to raise funds and awareness for A-Rod. Scott Boras Hosts!

8. STEIN DEATHWATCH! Not that he’s sick or even ailing, but damn, IMAGINE THE HEADLINES! Can you cough a little more for us, Boss?

7. CLEMENS RETIREMENT WATCH! What, you mean this story has been happening for ten years? That just means it’s a Big Story!

6. JOBA SAYS NO! The Yankees stud young reliever announces something about starting or relieving that won’t matter until February, and could change any number of times before then, and yet it’s still a story. God bless America!

5. JOE TALKS SOME MORE! What’s he thinking now? What will he be thinking tomorrow? Is he going to be hired by some other team? Will that team change its name to The Yankees, just to spite the Yankees? Some say YES!

4. SUZYN GOES NUTSO! Distraught over the lack of Joe in her life and the constant harassment of mean sports bloggers like us, the YES announcer is riding and shooting. Stay indoors!

(And the follow-up from the geniuses at the Stephen A. Smith Heckling Society…)

3. MASSIVE MOVES! OK, so these can’t actually happen until later this winter, but that doesn’t really have to stop anyone from writing that THE YANKEES HAVE SIGNED JOHAN SANTANA, does it? No, dammit, IT DOES NOT.

2. EARTH-SHAKING NEW STADIUM NEWS! In that, well, earth was shaking. Look, dirt!

1. NEW MANAGER TURMOIL! Is the guy who didn’t get the job annoyed? Let’s ask him until he, and the rest of the First World, is!

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THE MIDWAY: NENA, AARON BLEEPIN’ BOONE & JOSH BECKETT

A kickass video detailing 99 years of Cubbie Futility set to Nena’s 99 Red Balloons. Yeah, you read that right. (Home Run Derby)

Happy Anniversary Aaron Boone! Four years ago today, his homerun put the Yankees in the World Series. (Pop Jocks)

Why not Beckett tonight? Another option that would have made it work. (Red Sox Monster)

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YANKS ABOUT TO LOSE BEST WEAPON?

by Jack Cobra, Cobra Brigade

With the Yankees out of the playoffs already, it looks like their will be a mass exodus following the exit of Manager Joe Torre. The Yankees best weapon for the past eleven seasons, Mariano Rivera, is ready to follow his skipper out the door.

Rivera isn’t happy that Joe Torre could be out as manager in New York and said the team’s decision will be factored into whether he returns.

“I don’t feel good about it,” Rivera said Wednesday, two days after the Yankees’ third straight exit in the first round of the playoffs. “I don’t see why they’re even thinking (about letting Torre go). I wish he’s back, definitely. If you ask me what I would want, I want him back.”

Rivera’s contract also is expiring and he is eligible to become a free agent. He said whether Torre returns will help determine whether he remains with the Yankees, the only major league club he’s pitched for.

“It might do a lot of it,” he said. “I mean, I’ve been with Joe for so many years, and the kind of person he has been for me and for my teammates, it’s been great. The thing is that I don’t see why they have to put him in this position.”

It used to be that when Rivera entered the game….the game ended soon after. While he has slowed down a bit, he is still one of the best three closers in MLB and should be paid accordingly as such. A lot of people consider Rivera to be the most valuable Yankee for the last decade and more than a few people believe they would have had a very difficult time winning any World Championships without him. Yet, here they are…on the precipice of losing one of the greatest weapons MLB has ever seen.

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TOP 10 CANDIDATES TO BE THE NEXT YANKEE MANAGER

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

10. Don Mattingly. Because the next era of Yankee baseball also is looking to be devoid of championships, and Donny’s got lots of experience at that. But first, SHAVE THOSE SIDEBURNS, YOU HIPPIE!

9. Larry Bowa. Billy Martin’s dead, so let’s get the closest possible approximation. New York tabloids are already gathering up a collection for this to happen.

8. Ron Guidry. So what if the pitching staff was the big reason why this year’s Yankee team failed, and Guidry was the pitching coach? He’s Louisiana Lightning!

7. Wade Boggs. If only to make Red Sox fan fume a little more. Bonus points if he brings the mistress!

6. Bobby Valentine. He’s available, experienced at the New York grind, and almost completely without shame. George will love him!

5. Davey Johnson. Almost the same qualifications as Valentine, only with more lifetime wins and playoff success. The special bonus here is that no one will take his side when you fire him.

4. LOU! LOU! LOOOOOOUUUUU! After 162 games of managing the Yankee JV in Cubland, it’s time for Lou Pinella to come home to the unbridled insanity that is the Bronx. (What, you don’t think Stein could buy him out of his Cubs deal? Surely you jest.) If nothing else, he’ll have special insight into beating the D-Rays.

3. Joe Torre. Oh, come on, like Big Stein really fires anyone anymore? It’s been 12 years, and he likes twisting in the wind, so why not keep him around for lucky number 13? Stein’s threats to fire people are right up there with Mr. McMahon these days, anyway…

2. A Black Guy. Ok, we’re just kidding here, but if this happens, then you know Stein’s no longer in charge, really. (But if they go this way, we want to see Sheff come back as player-coach. That would rule.)

1. Billy Martin. He’s dead? Well, that didn’t keep the Raiders from hiring Art Shell, did it? Just hire John Turturro to impersonate him, have some bench coach actually make all of the moves, and explain it all away by saying Billy’s been in the Third World finding a miracle cure for alcoholism. So long as Turturro gets into fights in bars and gets canned three or four times, it’s all good.. and the Yankees will rally around the replacement, just like old times!

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THE AFTER PARTY

A few pointers on casting NCAA Football poll votes for those doing the voting, since they seem a bit haphazard in their selections. (We Suck at Sports)

The Big Lead gets credit for the find here, but the description and analysis on B.C. wins hands down. Enjoy Tom Brady’s Stetson ads. (Blown Coverage)

An inebriated dissertation/interview with a Yankees fan on the D train following the Yankees 6-4 loss in Game 4 Monday night. (Bugs & Cranks)

German-Iranian hates Israel, refuses to go? Ashkan Dejagah is creating quite a fuss for refusing to play a soccer game in Israel. (The Beautiful Game)

The University of Kansas has a football team? They’re 5-0?! What?! (The Pig Pen)

The loser of the Mexican presidential election cheated to win the Berlin Marathon? Que Lastima! (Rumors and Rants)

The Anaheim Ducks are got their bling Monday night. And what nice bling it is. (Pop Jocks)

Charlize Theron: the sexiest woman alive. (Esquire)

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THE MIDWAY: YANKEE SYMPATHY GIFTS & OMAR EPPS

Cheer up New York Yankees, America knows that you lost to the Cleveland Indians. We’re very sorry and bought you a sympathy gift! (The Grand National Championships)

Omar Epps is the coolest man alive. Screw Chuck Norris. Omar can do anything. And I mean ANYTHING. (Introducing Liston)

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THE MIDWAY: CARLOS ORTEZ & WHAT’S COOL?

News reports yesterday in today call into question whether Carlos Ortez, a Red Sox fan from Quincy, Mass., was beaten in part because of his allegiance to the Red Sox. (Red Sox Monster)

It’s here! The ESPN Executive Committee third quarter blogosphere review. So “What’s cool” for the 3rd Quarter of 2007? Read and find out. (The Ghosts of Wayne Fontes)

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WHAT SHOULD THE YANKEES DO WITH JOE TORRE?

by Brian P. Foley, The College Baseball Blog

The hot story around the Internet is that Joe Torre will be let go in the coming weeks after failing to win the World Series the last seven seasons.

Torre should go…

Joe Torre should be let go by the New York Yankees because he has failed to win the World Series in the last seven sevens. He has had the benefit of the highest payroll in baseball history in every season but has not been able to bring home the prize. The last time the Yankees made the World Series was in 2003 when they were rolled over by Josh Beckett and the Florida Marlins in six games. Torre has not gotten the Yankees out of the first round of the playoffs since 2004 when they had an epic collapse against the Boston Red Sox.

Torre should come back…

The New York Yankees should bring back Joe Torre out of respect for his 12 solid season in which he brought the team to the playoffs every year. He also put the team in the playoffs in 2007 with a horrible start. Brian Cashman is the one that needs to go as he builds the team with free agent and trade signings. Torre is not the one that decided to pay Roger Clemens 22 million dollars for about half the season. The biggest issue with the New York Yankees is that they have been making too many bad decisions when getting players. When there is a big free agent in the market, they make it a top priority to get that player without looking at the negatives. The Yankees are currently stuck with Carl Pavano’s salary even though he has never been healthy since joining the team.

I believe that the Yankees should fire Cashman and keep Torre if the new GM wants Joe back.

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