THE AFTER PARTY

The only thing that’s got one Chargers fan a bit squeamish about Chris Chambers is that Mr. David Boston also owned #89 for the blue and gold. (Part Mule)

Vick’s 4.5 mil house on market and he is getting sued for defaulting on a bank loan for a wine store. Good times. (Mac G’s World)

Is Kentucky’s Rich Brooks sabotaging Andre Woodson’s Heisman candidacy through inaction? (The Meaningful Collateral)

An inside tip for those who wager. Chris Mortensen is taking the Chargers over the Jets AND the Bengals this weekend. (Chicago Bull)

Women have not earned their place in the broadcast booth, and announcers like Suzyn Waldman are the reason why. (The Naughty American)

Most of America is unaware that tomorrow is the Rugby World Cup Finals in France between England and South Africa. Apparently, though, it’s kind of a big deal. (This Suit Is Not Black)

This really needs to be said. If you play fantasy football, you are a nerd. No one cares that you play fantasy football. (The Grand National Championships)

Joe Torre is a hero for rejecting the Yankees contract offer. Here’s a list of the only five other people in history who have done something that noble or shocking. (Rumors and Rants)

Joe Torre could have won even more if Cashman and Steinbrenner didn’t saddle him with their real-life rotisserie team. (The Hall of Very Good)

In a country full of religious hypocrites, Paul Byrd stands out emphatically both from an intellectual and practical standpoint. (Crashburn Alley)

More fun with Steelers kicker Jeff Reed at a bar. With pictures of course. (Mondesi’s House)

An interview with some blogger. (Pyle of List)

Lindsay Lohan still gives good side-boob. (Hollywood Tuna)

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THE AFTER PARTY

Yesterday it was reported that Michael Vick took an 8-hour class at PETA, and he even passed a written test. R&R obtained a copy of the test and posted it. (Rumors and Rants)

Does anyone believe anything ESPN Reports, anymore? So much of it just turns out to be flat-out false. (Awful Announcing)

A Soccer Player’s Guide to Surviving Fan Attacks. Dida showed us one way: curl up in a ball and pretend that you are dead. But there are other options. (The Offside)

During NLDS game 1 yesterday, The Phanatic knocked out a guy who looked a little like an old fat Rocky Balboa. – is that supposed to signify the Phillies knocking out the Rockies? (Home Run Derby)

The Gowanus Canal which extends through the borough of Brooklyn was found to have not only extended amounts of pollution but Gonorrhea as well. Yes, the Venereal Disease. (Simon on Sports)

First half fantasy sports. It is an idea whose time has come. Vote to end your fantasy sports at the all-star game. (The Grand National Championships)

You really can’t go wrong with a hot chick in a bunny suit. (The Grumpiest)

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TALE OF THE TAPE: VICK VS SPEARS – MANO A BALDO

by DCScrap, Our Book of Scrap

2007 has been a real bad year for you if your name is either Michael Vick or Britney Spears. Both of these former uberstars have driven their careers straight off the rails and into the dumpster (where Brit found some fries … ooh, still warm! … yum!). It has been a fun ride with no end in sight. My top-secret, super-duper question of the day is, which one of these two mental train wrecks had the worst 2007?

To find out, let’s go to the scorecards! Harold…

VICK:

• The Falcons want him to return more than $16 million in bonus money. (Points: 16)
• Took Animal Cruelty Prevention Course at PETA. (Points: -3)
• An Indiana bank sued him for not repaying loans involving a car rental business. (Points: 10)
• Failed drug test, ordered to wear electronic monitor and given a curfew. (Points: 5)
• Hit with one count of beating or killing a dog and one count of engaging in and promoting dogfighting by the State of Virginia. (Points: 30)
• Royal Bank of Canada sued him for more than $2.3 million alleging his guilty plea on federal dogfighting charges has caused him to default on a loan. (Points: 23)
• Mediocre crowd turns out for ESPN-sponsored town meeting to discuss his plight. (Points: 2)
• Authorities in Catawba County, N.C., say they have found a possible link between a dog breeder found shot to death in his home in April and the “Bad Newz Kennels” operated by Vick. (Points: 5)
• Indefinitely suspended by the NFL. (Points: 18)
• Found Jesus. Apology note he used in press conference brings in $10,200 in an online auction to benefit the Humane Society of the United States. (Points: -5)
• Sued by the legendary Jonathan Lee Riches. (Points: 5)
• Dumped by major sponsors like Nike and Reebok. (Points: 12)
• Nailed with federal charges for dogfighting. Pleaded guilty in federal court to a dogfighting conspiracy charge and is awaiting sentencing. (Points: 40)

Mike’s total score: 151

BRIT-BRIT:

• Some dude that claims to have a tape of him and Brit-Brit having sex. (Points: 2)
• Lost custody of her kids after her bodyguard documents her drug use, bad parenting and erratic behavior. (Points: 25)
• Charged with two misdemeanors including a hit-and-run for an incident when she pulled into a parking space and hit a car, and for driving without a valid license. (Points: 12)
• Her lawyer and manager quit on her. (Points: 4, but with the double bonus it’s
• Put on a horrendous comeback performance at the VMA’s. (Points: 5)
• Investigated by the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. (Points: 3)
• Investigated for possible child abuse. (Points: 12)
• Threatened to kill a photographer after bodyguard beat him up. (Points:
• Divorced her loser husband, Kevin Federline. (Points: 2)
• Slapped her mom in public. (Points: 10)
• Stormed off a plane minutes before take-off because it didn’t have leather seats. (Points: 3)
• Checked into rehab. (Points: 3)
• Checked into rehab … again. (Points: 2)
• Checked into rehab … again. (Points: 1)
• Attacked paparazzi with umbrella. (Points: 20)
• Shaved her own head bald. (Points: 30)

Brit’s total score: 151

So who wins this epic battle of the cerebral celebrities? There are no winners here folks.

Except you … and me. 2008 ought to be real fun.

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THE MIDWAY: VICK IS A GENIUS & BREWERS BROKE THE SEAL

Mike Vick might just be so stupid he’s brilliant. It seems that by getting caught smoking pot, Vick may have actually reduced his future jail time. (100% Injury Rate)

Ever since the coming out party in May for PeeYourPantsfortheBrewers.com, the Brewers seem to have pissed it all away. Coincidence? No way. (Home Run Derby)

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THROWING KNIVES: TRADE ME!

by BD, Sports Show On Mute

Can’t help but enjoy watching the Mets fall apart. Their lead is all the way down to one game and and Phillies remain on fire while the Mets are losing games by the handful to the Nationals. Either the Padres or Brewers will miss the playoffs with the two teams closing the season with a 4-game set in Milwaukee. I’d say the Brewers are on the short end of that stick. But, that’s partially because their leading the wild card while the Brewers still trail in the Central. The Rockies bandwagon is getting crowded as they won their 10th strait last night. The Office returns tonight with an hour long episode at 9 (EST). It should be interesting to see Ryan in his new position as well as what’s gone on with Pam and Jim since we last saw them. Vanessa Marcil is probably in my Top 5, or at least close to it.

Puff Puff Pass
Vick tested positive for weed. And now he’s looking at much stricter guidelines as he awaits his enhancing. On top of that, this could play into his sentencing and add to what will almost certainly be 18 months. It’s just another idiot move by the NFL’s poster boy for idiocy. The way things are going Vick could end up bankrupt from all of this ala Mike Tyson.

Marion Wants Out
This whole situation is a little ridiculous to me. Marion being a cry baby and his jealousy of Amare Stoudamire is a big part of it. He says he’s tired of the rumors and he wants out of Phoenix. I think it’s pretty clear he’s tired of playing third fiddle to Amare and Nash and he thinks he’s a better player than the former. Something I think we’d all scoff at. Marion probably wouldn’t be half the player he’s perceived to be if he wasn’t playing alongside those two guys. The biggest question is whether or not some team will be willing to extend him for the money he wants if they get him. If they do, it’s likely to be a mistake. Though that depends entirely on where he ends up. If the Suns could swap him for Kirilenko the Jazz wouldn’t be making a bad move in extending him. Though his new contract wouldn’t put them in any better shape than they are with Kirilenko’s now. He’d be a good fit in Utah where he could play 3rd fiddle to Boozer and Williams. Two guys without half the names as Nash and Amare. I’m sure he’d love that. Plus, their polygamy.

Florida State Academic Cheating
23 players have been implicated in the scandal. Though, interestingly only 2 of them are football players and none of them play baseball or basketball. As annoying as something like this is to those of us who put in the work. It’s not a surprise and it’s something that goes on across the country.

Well That Didn’t Work Out Now Did It
Look, soccer and I don’t get along. Women’s soccer especially, but I was still rooting for our women’s team to take home the world cup. I’ll no longer be rooting though, as the U.S. fell 4-0 to Brazil in the semi-finals today. Their’s a huge situation here as hottie-keeper Hope Solo has been benched in favor of Briana Scurry and her 4-0 career record against Brazil. Horrible decision if you ask me, as Solo would haven been expected to return had they reached the finals.

After the match Solo blasted the decision to sit her. Saying something to the effect of; “I would have made those save.” and”This isn’t 2003.” The second of which is a very good point. She should have been playing. Our team may have picked up a victory if she was.

Ocho Dance-O
Chad Johnson will be doing the “Go Daddy Dance” next time he gets into the end zone, as part of his agreement with the company. Go Daddy will apparently pay CJ’s fine as he’s sure to get one. You gotta love Ocho, right?

Scoreboard – September 26th – 2007

MLB
National League
Philadelphia 5, Atlanta 3
Florida 7, Chicago 4 – I didn’t know it was possible to lose 8-9 strait to the Marlins.
Pittsburgh 5, Arizona 1
Houston 7, Cincinnati 6
Washington 9, New York 6
St. Louis 7, Milwaukee 3
Colorado 2, Los Angeles 0
San Diego 11, San Francisco 3

American League
Texas 16, Los Angeles 2
Boston 11, Oakland 6
Detroit 9, Minnesota 4 F/5
Cleveland 12, Seattle 4 and Seattle 3, Cleveland 2 F/10
Toronto 8, Baltimore 5
New York 12, Tampa Bay 4
Chicago 3, Kansas City 0

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BREAKING: EVEN MORE BAD NEWS FOR VICK

by DCScrap, Our Book of Scrap

It has been a really, really bad week for our favorite dog-fighting aficionado, Michael Vick. First he finds out that he will face charges in Surry County in addition to the Federal charges, then gets sued by his bank for $2.3 million, and now he has gone all Ricky Williams and tested positive for weed.

A urine sample submitted by Michael Vick has tested positive for marijuana, and as a result he’ll have tighter restrictions on his freedom.

Vick must participate in a program of inpatient or outpatient substance therapy and mental health counseling if the pretrial services officer or supervising officer deem it appropriate and is restricted to his residence every day from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. or as directed by the pretrial services officer. The home confinement will include electronic monitoring.

Looks like Vick will be getting fitted for a new piece of jewelry real soon.

Source: ESPN
Image: The Onion

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THE AFTER PARTY

It just keeps getting better for Michael Vick. Vick is being sued by the Royal Bank of Canada, which claims that when he ceased receiving paychecks as an NFL player, he violated the terms of a $2.5 million loan. (The FanHouse)

High school basketball coach Oswald Cross was fired after four years in charge for being too good. Yeah, you read that right. (Deuce of Davenport)

As some of you may know, it was rookie hazing week last week in baseball. Here are some of the better costumes from around the league. (100% Injury Rate)

HRD continues with its Mascot Brackets. Current Matchup – from the Mammal Division … #2 Stomper (Pirates) vs #8 D. Baxter (Diamondbacks) (Home Run Derby)

There’s 24 hours until the end of the Bears season. Evil Terrorist Rex Al-Grossman-bin Nothrow has infiltrated and brainwashed Lovie Smith, the free leader of the Chicago Bears. Only one man can save them… (Chicago Bull)

It’s almost impossible to get your head around, I know. But try anyway. Here it goes: Today, the Yankees helped the Red Sox. (Sox Nest)

SBL — the rap group responsible for that fake Larry Johnson rap a few weeks ago — is back at again. This time, they take aim at Kansas City’s finest fattest — Jason Whitlock. (Arrowhead Addict)

Citing an agonizingly annoying three months, Derek Jeter has reportedly decided he’s done accepting anything from Alex “A-Rod” Rodriguez. Ever. (Serious Sports)

Rihanna looks good sporting some S&M gear. (The Bastardly)

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BREAKING: MICHAEL VICK TO FACE MORE CHARGES

by DCScrap, Our Book of Scrap

Things just got a little worse for beleaguered Falcons quarterback Michael Vick. Already facing up to five years in prison for Federal charges, and having been indefinitely suspended without pay by the NFL, Vick now looks as if he will have to face county charges related to dogfighting and the killing of animals.

What is interesting is that the local prosecutors say that their investigation is of a slightly different nature than the Federal case.

The prosecutor in the rural county where Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick has admitted to bankrolling a dogfighting operation plans to present “a host of bills of indictment” regarding the case to a grand jury on Tuesday.

[Surry County Commonwealth's Attorney Gerald G. Poindexter] couldn’t detail the exact indictments he will pursue, but said the local investigation and the federal investigation largely focused on different crimes.

In his written plea, Vick admitted helping kill six to eight pit bulls and supplying money for gambling on the fights. He said he did not personally place any bets or share in any winnings, but gave his three co-defendants all those proceeds.

Regardless of the plea he made with Federal prosecutors, one would think that the addition of these additional county charges would make it even more likely that Vick will indeed be doing some prison time, delaying any possible return to the NFL.

Source: AP

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Dan Le Batard Reduced to Trick Daddy

by Kristine, This Suit Is Not Black

Sports radio host Dan Le Batard recently had rap legend Trick Daddy on his show to talk about the Michael Vick situation. Really? Is this what Le Batard has been reduced to? Having Trick Daddy – also known as this guy – on as a legal expert? But then it got awesome.

“The problem is, is that when people say, ‘it was wrong,’ the problem is, when he makes between $130-$150 million dollars – that is the problem. It has nothing to do with the dogs. They never saw the dogs! …You ban pit bulls anyway, so that let’s you know a pit bull’s a vicious dog. Why are you crying about it now?”

Touche. The pit bulls deserved it. Why are we crying about it, America?

“ [With all the problems around the world], are you seriously going to invest thousands and thousands of US citizen’s dollars to even investigate a dog fight? … Come on, man. This is Michael Vick. This is not one of the greatest players in the league. This is the greatest player EVER!” [Note: Emphasis Trick Daddy’s]

I was going to complain about how Mr. Daddy has no qualifications as a legal expert, et cetera, et cetera … but that was way more entertaining than, I think, even Le Batard thought it would be.

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Establishing a New Criteria for Michael Vick Posts

by Stan, Ghosts of Wayne Fontes

It’s long overdue to come up with a new set of guidelines and/or rules about posting on Michael Vick. It seems, I can’t go a single day without hearing the same Michael Vick joke or reading the same Michael Vick post I read the day before. Look, it was funny the first time around. In fact, the whole Michael Vick “posting” issue became a topic of debate on a spamming email that many around the blogosphere couldn’t seem to unsubscribe or remove fast enough last weekend.

Do a google “blog” search on Vick and there is something new every single day. Check your email and you might be spammed again with another Michael Vick topic. I’m probably just as guilty as the next guy when it comes to “beating the dead horse” on a specific post topic, but today I’m imploring bloggers to unite in one common cause. And that is to just leave Michael Vick alone.

I’m not saying I’m innocent, but I’m saying it’s time we draw a line in the sand. Vick is an easy topic, an easy whipping post, but at what point is enough simply enough? The whole Vick saga is beyond saturated all over blogs, the MSM and sports talk radio. It’s going to take a collective effort to put the gauntlet down on this topic.

Yeah, I realize I may be ruffling a few feathers here, but it’s not my intent. Remember a few years back getting those “Chuck Norris created the universe” email lists? Well, if you didn’t (my apologies) anyhow, the trend to mock Chuck Norris became so over rampant that I must’ve gotten a new Chuck Norris “did this” link ever single day. And essentially the joke (which initially was highly comical) became immensely stale.

Yup, every joke plays it course and that’s just the nature of the business. Does anybody else not see that Vick has hit that point? We get it…Vick is an intriguing story. Yet, can’t we shift the topic to Brady Quinn…whoops…we’ve already beaten that one as well. Consider my site (The Ghosts) dually guilty on both accounts.

I can’t say it hasn’t been fun to poke fun at Ron Mexico, Bad Newz Kennels, Marcus and what not, but I am committed from here on out to move forward…who’s with me? Long and short and to end the vent, let’s all agree to agree on leaving Vick out of our daily references. Besides, it’s time to move on and share the mocks with Joey Harrington…right? Well, maybe I’m in the minority, but that’s just my opinion on the topic.

All good things end in time. Goodbye Mike.

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