THE GREATEST TENNIS TOURNAMENT IN THE WORLD

by DCScrap, Our Book of Scrap

Look, I know very little about tennis. I know Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer are good. I know Venus and Serena Williams are good when they want to be. I know Anna Kournikova is hot. See … very limited tennis knowledge. What I DO know though is that the Madrid Masters in Spain has to be the most awesome tennis tournament in the world. Hell, it might be the best sporting event in the world.

Why, you ask? Well, just check out the ballgirls after the jump and tell me you disagree…

Not everyone is as pleased as I am with the tourney’s choice of ballgirls though…

Despite drawing the ire of Spanish government officials, equality groups and even American hero Andre Agassi, the marketing stunt looks set to stay.

F*ck Andre Agassi. They’re just doing God’s work.

Source: Daily Mail

Let The Good Times Roll: The PUMA Store

THROWING KNIVES: WEEKEND HANGOVER

by BD, Epic Carnival

Starting this week every Monday I’ll be bringing you the Weekend Hangover, in which I prescribe those ailing from this weekends failures a little pick-me-up. For those of you suffering within your cubicle I’d suggest a couple of Excedrin and a large dose of Gatorade. Always does the trick for me. Despite not being an Indians fan, I’m pissed the Red Sox came back and will be rooting for the Rockies. I hate the Sox almost as much as the Yanks for similar reasons. I found myself so unsure of what to do with my fantasy WR situation yesterday I asked our editor. You see I was deciding between Welker, Coles and Galloway for the spot alongside Ocho Cinco. Lucky for me, I ignored my editor, and a friend who both suggested Galloway and rolled with Coles and absolutely destroyed my opponent. Suffice to say, next time I’ll e-mail all of Epic instead of just Mr. Fresh. Anyhow, here’s Gisele doing her thing in Miami just 24 hours before Tom did his.

Weekend Hangovers
In which I attempt to help those suffering heal their wounds and reemerge to fight like sh*t champions again.

The Miami Dolphins are a tough bunch to call after watching them get dismantled on yet another Sunday. In this case it was Tom Brady and Co. embarrassing the hapless ‘Phins. Randy Moss made two ridiculous catches that further illuminated just how bad the Dolphins defense has fallen. Sure, the Pats O is the best in the league, but guess what… The BROWNS defense held the Pats to 34 points. Fifteen less than the once great ‘Phins D. What could possibly help mend the broken ego’s and dreams in Miami? The NFL thinks it’s a trip abroad, but me? I’m going with a full bottle of Robitussin as I’ve heard it can make you hallucinate and that’s about the only way the ‘Phins are going to think next week’s game in Europe is actually the 2010 Super Bowl.

What a rough loss for the Eagles yesterday as they, like the Packers, let Brian Griese lead a game winning drive in the final moments in their building no less. On top of that, they were held to nothing but field goals until the 4th Quarter against a defnse that allowed 200+ yards to one guy last week. So, was the demise of the Bears defense just a myth? Or, is the Eagles offense just that bad? I’d say a little of both, but a lot more of the latter. Thus, I’m prescribing a legion of white receivers to line up alongside Kevin Curtis.

Obviously I have to help out the St. Louis Rams as they managed to get manhandled by the Seahawks despite Shaun Alexander not playing completely sucking again and Matt continuing to look like Tim. It was in large part due to a Seattle defense who ran through the Rams o-line for 7 sacks and forced Marc Bulger into 3 picks. It’s safe to say Bulger picked the right year to holdout for more money, as he’s now about as overpaid as he can get. Honestly, I’m not sure anything can help this team right now, but theirs got to be something, right? How about 5 clones of Orlando Pace to take over the o-line? That’ll work. Unfortunately, they’re all finishing out the season on IR as well.

The Cleveland Indians choked away what is probably Kenny Lofton’s last chance at a ring last night as they lost to the Evil Empire 2.0. Getting blown out for the second strait night in Boston and officially blowing their 3-1 lead. Giving MLB what it wanted, a marquee team in the fall classic. Neither of Cleveland’s two aces showed up and their bats were quiet throughout the series. Their’s only one thing that might cheer this group up…. hookers, of course! Prepaid for by Mark Shapiro himself. Hell of choke guys!

All of the people who are saying the Pats are running up the score because of the whole Spy-Gate ordeal. That Belichick wants to punish the rest of the league for what happened. You’re a moron, Belichick wants to win games and win big because he’s a bit of a prick. It has nothing to do with what happened earlier this season. Sure, if you openly mention it (Yeah Wade, I’m buying what PK is selling there) then he might keep his foot on the pedal. But, he’s not trying to win by 17+ every week. He’s just trying to win and throwing the ball is what gives them the best chance to do that. After all the point of the game is to score and stop the other team from scoring. It doesn’t say anything about letting up if your opponent isn’t scoring. Thus, I’m recommending a swift kick in the junk and a “Nice tall glass of shut the up,” as well.

Quick ‘Scrips….

For Brian Billick it’s Viagra. I mean, who can get it up after watching that?

A fresh pair of underwear for Jeff Fisher as he definitely sh*t his pants after the surrender 29 in the 4th.

For the Steelers a nice helping of humble pie. The allegedly 3rd best team in the AFC outsmarted themselves last night by taking to the air early, and often, against one of the leagues worst run defenses.

For DeSean Jackson a bottle of Pepto as he suffer through another disappointing collapse in Berkeley.

For Paul Byrd… well he’s gotten enough prescriptions hasn’t he?

And finally, a nice big McRib for LenDale White who managed his first career 100-yard game yesterday as the Titans out-legged the Texans.

Scoreboard – October 21st – 2007

ALCS
Red Sox 11, Indians 2
Win Series 4-3

NFL
Buffalo 19, Baltimore 14
Detroit 23, Tampa Bay 16
Tennessee 38, Houston 36
New England 49, Miami 28
NY Giants 33, San Fran 15
New Orleans 22, Atlanta 16
Washington 21, Arizona 19
Cincinnati 38, NY Jets 31
Kansas City 12, Oakland 10
Dallas 24, Minnesota 14
Chicago 19, Philadelphia 16
Seattle 33, St. Louis 6
Denver 31, Pittsburgh 28

Let The Good Times Roll: The PUMA Store

THROWING LINKS

by BD, Epic Carnival

Throwing Links is the Epic Carnival’s weekend link dump. Coming to you every Saturday and Sunday morning. Send all submissions here. This week’s Cheerleader is Lindsey of the Bengals as I’m a bit of a sucker for redheads.

10. Bill Simmons is referencing “The Hills,” and that’s just one reason he’s turned into a twat. The others include defending the Pats as they run up the score. (My Brain Says Rage)

9. TBP gets the man who runs Extra Mustard Jimmy Traina to sit down for an interview. (The Big Picture)

8. Agent Zero doesn’t just kill on the court and on his blog, but he also kills the rookie’s cars as well. (FanHouse)

7. It would appear you absolutely cannot use those words your mom slapped you for around Ray Allen. (Larry Brown Sports)

6. Well, if nothing else we know Ryan Garko isn’t an asshole like most of those at Fenway last night. (Foul Balls)

5. Speaking of assholes, here’s the top 10 in Cowboys history. (Viking Age)

4. Bill Maher isn’t interested in your 9/11 conspiracy theories. You’ll want to take those to Bill O’Reilly. (Crashburn Alley)

3. Would you look at that. Louisville’s QB has a website. Unfortunately, it’s not the one you’d think. (The Meaningful Collateral)

2. If Greg Easterbrook ever sneaks into the booth beside Chris Berman I’ll be needing a noose. (Nerds On Sports)

1. I really hope this is what the Yankees roster looks like next year, but I doubt it. (Thunder Matt’s Saloon)

Let The Good Times Roll: The PUMA Store

THROWING LINKS

by BD, Epic Carnival

Throwing Links is the Epic Carnival’s weekend link dump. Coming to you every Saturday and Sunday morning. Send all submissions here. Today we celebrate fandom, the only way we know how. Here to you Missouri, hopefully you can outscore Texas Tech and shut everyone up about Graham Harrell.

10. Come November 30th Rick Reilly will no longer be writing for SI. He’s off to the WWL. I’d guess he’s a lock to sit across from Skip everyday. (Sports By Brroks)

9. Naming your kid after a city is such a great idea! I just can’t figure out why my brother won’t name his Juneau. (Red Sox Monster)

8. Wouldn’t be surprised to see Smash pull the “oh didn’t see that linebacker” on Saracen, but LJ? Not really a surprise, his attitude has alway been a question, but his talent is immense. Ahh dilemmas. (The Extrapolater)

7. What do you get when you combine bowling and football? This. (Sportscolumn Blog)

6. Dan Patrick has signed on with SI and starts in January. Anyone else thinks he’s the replacement for Reilly at the back of each issue? (Awful Announcing)

5. Tiger’s even richer, but if his flavors end up with titles like “ball sweat.” I’ll pass. (Signal To Noise)

4. According to EA Sports the Phoenix Suns will beat the Celtics in seven games. (USA Today Sports Scope)

3. Just in case you were wondering how not to interview a professional athlete. This guy got unbelievably lucky Sammy’s a good guy. (FanHouse)

2. Papelbon grabs a hold of what makes Manny, Man-ny. (The Big Lead)

1. Making the case for clubbing Woody Paige… sounds good! (Seal Clubbers)

(Image: College Humor)

Let The Good Times Roll: The PUMA Store

CHEERLEADER FRIDAY

by DCScrap, Our Book of Scrap

In my never-ending quest to bring you all things cheerleader, I am proud to update you on the state of NFL Cheerleader calendars. After all, it’s almost Christmas shopping time!!

The Titans ladies have unveiled their page-turner already.

“We are very proud of our calendar and excited about the business opportunity it presents for our department,” said Stacie Kinder, director of cheerleaders for the Titans.

Of course you are.

The Cardinals squad also had a little par-tay to announce the publication of their day-counter. Looks like it was more fun than should be allowed!

Not to be outdone, the Redskins are also on the board with their monthly minxes.

This marks the first time that all 15 cover models from the past 10 years will be together for the first time. Way to go girls!

The Jaguars’ team, the ROAR (awesome name), put together a nice slideshow of their photos.

Man, how am I going to pick just one calendar?!

Never a team to shy away from a party, the Ben-Gals had a great time at the release of their 2008 effort.

And finally, the Houston Texans Cheerleaders released the cover of the 2008 Houston Texans Cheerleader Swimsuit Calendar just yesterday.

“Once you see the inside pictures, you’re going to be like, ‘Wow,’” Celina said. “It’s an honor. The girls are all beautiful, everybody on the squad.”

Don’t believe her? There’s video… Nice job, Celina!

So there you go, all your holiday shopping needs taken care of in one tidy little post.

Be sure to check back next week when we profile more of America’s sweethearts of the sidelines.

Let The Good Times Roll: The PUMA Store

NOTHING BUTT THE BEST OF JAPAN

by Don, With Malice…

Bringing you the best of ass…

Recently Triumph International under their ‘Sloggi’ brand name held a competition of ‘ass assessment’. Immediately I thought of you, gentle readers.

The winner was Kaho Watanabe, who now moves onto the World Finale in Germany, where she’ll compete against the hottest heinies in the world.

Asstastic video after the jump.

Nice rear-end, but I dunno… I seem to see more delectable derrieres almost daily. But nothing wrong with Kaho’s ass.

Let The Good Times Roll: The PUMA Store

THE NICKELODEON: WORST CORNER KICK. EVER.

Ricardinho (whoever that is … sorry, I am a soccer illiterate) attempts and completes the only corner kick I have ever seen that results in a throw-in on the same side of the pitch.

As a side note, I am loving the outfits the female referees are wearing and would be all for more female officials if they were required to dress in those duds for every sporting event they officiated.

Watch in amazement after the jump.

(Credit The Offside for the find.)

Let The Good Times Roll: The PUMA Store

THROWING KNIVES: YOU GOTTA LOVE THIS

by BD, Epic Carnival

I realize the ALCS isn’t over yet and anything can happen and all that, but if your not a fan of the Sox you’ve got to be loving the Indians right now. Even as a Tigers fan I find myself rooting for the Indians to topple the “giants” from Boston after dispatching the Yankees in the ALDS. Tonight South Florida faces one of their few remaining tests as they head to New Jersey to take on Rutgers. I think USF will win this game, but it’ll be far from a shock if Ray Rice goes off and the Scarlett Knights knock off the Bulls. Am I the only person dying for basketball to start already? As much as I love football, it’s a once a week thing, once basketball starts it’s everyday. And yes I know Hockey started, but I could care less. Anyhow, today marks the beginning of the TK NBA preview is today as I take a look at the Atlantic and Northwest divisions. Autumn Reeser is smokin’ hot. Hopefully she pops up on some new show this year.

Enjoying Every Second
I don’t know about you, but I prefer small market teams to large market teams by a wide margin. This is probably due to having all of those teams shoved down my throat throughout the season whether they’re playing great or horribly. It’s always all about how these teams can fix themselves and make the playoffs, but why does it matter? Ratings obviously, just look at Notre Dame. Arguably the 2nd worst team in the country after UCLA (not really), yet they’re the most covered team in College Football. It makes me want to stab a 5th grader.

Anyhow, I consider myself more or less anti-big markets just because they annoy me. Well, that and I hate everything about them (Yankees). If I had my way every World Series would feature the Marlins and Devil Rays just to piss off the large markets. Which is why I absolutely love that 3-1 hole the Red Sox are in. I’ve acknowledged it’s not over, and anything can happen and all that. But, even if CC Cabathia shits all over the mound again the Sox still have Fausto to deal with. And it’s Carmona who shut down the Yankees in round one and showed us he’s ready for prime time. What stage is bigger than Fenway in Game 6? None. If CC can’t make it happen, I have no doubt Fausto can shut the door.

If Your Not Watching
If your not watching the potential World Series of Rockies-Indians your just not a fan. I get it, your team lost and you didn’t even know the Rockies existed. But, if your a real fan of the game you’ve got to be watching this stuff. Otherwise, your just a Yankee fan and no one likes a Yankee fan.

Chris Chambers To Chargers
A second round pick is a lot to give up for dropalufficous, but the Chargers definitely need another weapon. Chambers will be that and since he’s familiar with the offense he should contribute right away. I’d say this trade is more indicative of the Chargers mindset then anything else. I’d say it’s pretty clear the Bolts feel like they need to fully right this ship right away and compete with the Pats and Colts or those currently calling the shots (Norv and AJ) won’t be around to long. I actually like the Dolphins side of the deal better, sure they’ll have to hold open tryouts for receivers this week (Ted Ginn’s to busy failing to be Devin Hester), but adding a second 2nd round pick is a very nice move. It;s nice to see a team accepting that they’re going no where this season and preparing for the future.

The NBA Preview Part 1
I’ll be doing two division at a time until I’ve finished them up and then I’ll seed the playoffs. Along with projecting who takes home the trophy I’ll make picks for Rookie, MVP, Coach, and some others awards. First up is the Atlantic and Northwest Divisions.

Atlantic Division Projected Order of Finish
Boston Celtics
Toronto
New Jersey
New York
Philadelphia
Projected Playoff Teams: 3

What was the worst division in basketball last season will be better with the vast improvement in beantown, a second year runnin’ and gunnin’ in Toronto and well, New Jersey should be New Jersey. New York should also improve a little bit, but it’s hard to imagine even with Randolph and Curry up front that the Knicks will be able to maintain consistency from day-to-day. Though they could overtake New Jersey and sneak into the playoffs. The Celtics will be good, but it’ll take a little while for the big three to get into a rhythm and the big question is how big the lack of a quality point guard will hurt this squad. I’d pencil them in for at least third in the East. Toronto maintains all of it’s gunners and adds Jason Kapono and Carlos Delfino. Both of which fit well with the style and can shoot the lights out from the three. The big concern is the same as it is with any team who fires from deep all day, can you continue to win consistently playing outside in? As long as Chris Bosh can draw double teams and TJ Ford can find the open guys I have no doubt. New Jersey looks about the same, but they’ve got Nenad back and that’ll certainly help. As all they need is an inside force and the big three of VC, Kidd and Jefferson will do the rest. The Knicks are the wild card, as they certainly look good on paper with their new front court, but Randolph tends to get his head stuck in his ass, can Isiah keep it out? As for Philly, their a lock to finish dead last here, maybe Iguodala can get into the dunk contest and not get jobbed this year.

Northwest Division Projected Order of Finish
Utah
Denver
Portland
Seattle
Minnesota
Projected Playoff Teams: 2

Utah and Denver are absolute locks for the playoffs. While Seattle, Portland and Minnesota are about as unpredictable as you’d expect with all of the young players they’ll be relying on to carry them. Utah will be tough every night as long as Deron Williams and Carlos Boozer are healthy. If they lose either guy for an extender period of time they could miss out on the playoffs all together. Williams has turned into one of the best PG’s in the league leaving everyone to back off the criticism of drafting him ahead of Chris Paul. Suddenly, Williams and Boozer look like the Stockton and Malone of the future and all of the talent around them certainly doesn’t hurt. Denver gets a full season with Carmelo and AI side by side as well as a return from Kenyon Martin. While I still think their nothing more than New Jersey west, they can disprove that if K-Mart stays healthy and productive for a full year. Portland and Seattle could flip flop either way. It;s really a question of which you like better at this point, Brandon Roy or Wally Szczerbiak? Yup, Roy. I’m not expecting Durant or any of the other rookie to be terribly great right out of the chute. Minnesota should be the worst team here based on the overwhelming youth of the roster, but Al Jefferson is going to be fantastic soon and if he can get a perimeter player to play with (Green, Brewer, McCants?) this team could surprise.

No Scoreboard today as nothing happened last night and their no way your getting me to link NHL box scores.

Let The Good Times Roll: The PUMA Store

THE PROPHET’S TUESDAY TAPOUT: ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE!

by The Prophet, ProphetFighting

There’s an old saying to watch what you wish for because you just might get it. After bitching about a few slow news weeks in the boxing/MMA world imagine my surprise as all hell broke loose last week. The events of the past seven days could literally change the landscape of the sport and I don’t think we’ve seen the last of the fallout. So with Halloween just around the corner and with all hell breaking loose in MMA take a gander at a sexy devil girl and lets get to the news…

FEDOR EMELIANENKO SIGNS WITH RUSSIAN M-1 PROMOTION:

In what *would* have been the biggest news story of a normal week, Russian fighting god Fedor Emelianenko extended his beefy middle finger to the UFC, the Japanese K-1 group and all of the other capitalists throwing money at him and signed a deal with the Russian M-1 group. Or did he? Until last week M-1 had been owned by Fedor’s advisor/agent, the Cold War era James Bond villain-like Vadim Finkelstein. However subsequent to the announcement that M-1 had secured Fedor’s services came the announcement that the group had been bought by an as-of-yet-unnamed “American entertainment company”. From the sound of it, this group assured Fedor that they could get him big fights while paying him big money and letting him compete in Russian Combat Sambo tournaments. The group today announced that they’d signed veteran PRIDE fighter Ricardo Arona, whom some are speculating will be Fedor’s first opponent.

RANDY COUTURE QUITS UFC, VACATES HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE:

UFC President Dana White didn’t even have time to spin Fedor’s snub of his group’s big money offer as the result of the scheming of “crazy Russians” when he had an even bigger problem on his hands. The morning after the news of the Fedor signing with M-1 was made public came a real shocker–UFC heavyweight champion Randy Couture had faxed in his resignation from the organization, relinquishing his title in the process. The fact that he did this while filming a sequel to “The Scorpion King” in South Africa gave White some fodder, and he launched into a tirade blaming Couture’s decision on “Hollywood agents” and Internet fanboys.

Of course Couture’s side of the story is quite different–at the age of 44 there isn’t a lot left for him to accomplish in the sport. He was hoping for a potential fight against Fedor Emelianenko, but the UFC couldn’t get that deal done. At this point he was basically pissed that he wasn’t anywhere near the top of the UFC’s pay scale. According to Couture, he had taken a meeting not long ago with White and the UFC’s “money men” Frank and Lorenzo Fertita. As the story goes, they told Couture that he was the #2 paid fighter in the company (behind former light heavyweight champion Chuck Liddell). Couture knew this wasn’t the case, and is accusing the UFC braintrust of flat out lying to him.

The major point of contention is now the status of Couture’s contract with the UFC. According to them, he’s got two fights left on his deal and regardless of when or if he fights he’s contractually bound to the UFC. Couture suggests that there’s 9 months left on his UFC deal after which he becomes a “free agent”. Word on the streets is that several investors are trying to put together a Fedor v. Couture fight independent of the UFC brand.

How this will all be resolved is anyone’s guess but one thing that is certain is that the UFC’s belief that they’re the “only game in town” took a serious hit with Couture’s resignation. Basically, the sport and the fighters in it are now bigger than the organizations they work for. This may change the entire pay and promotional structure of MMA to more closely resemble boxing, and I said as much in an article I wrote yesterday.

UFC DEAL WITH HBO FALLS APART:

The UFC received another blow last week with the announcement that a potential deal with HBO wasn’t going to happen. The two sides had been in negotiations for awhile, with the main sticking point being control of the production. UFC wanted to retain their creative control, while HBO wanted to broadcast it similar to boxing and hire their own announcers and production staff. The UFC wouldn’t budge on this point and the result is that if MMA comes to HBO in the short term it won’t be the UFC.

KIMBO SLICE SIGNS WITH ELITE XC:

In last week’s edition of the Tuesday Tapout we reported that there was some hope that the canceled fight between Kimbo Slice and Tank Abbott would happen after all. With the announcement that Kimbo Slice has signed a longterm deal with the Elite XC promotion the fight is currently “off”. Elite XC has a sweet TV deal with Showtime and could very well want to promote a Kimbo v. Abbott matchup themselves but my guess is they’ll want to promote their new fighter for awhile in order to milk the event for everything its worth.

We’ll be back next week with another Tuesday Tapout and, as always, you can get the latest boxing/MMA news and commentary at ProphetFighting.com.

Let The Good Times Roll: The PUMA Store

FINALLY, CHEERLEADERS GETTING SOME RECOGNITION

by DCScrap, Our Book of Scrap

In what can only be called grossly overdue, a professional cheerleader is finally being inducted into the Hall of Fame. No, it’s not the NFL or NBA Hall’s of Fame, but it’s almost as good.

The Ben-Gals very own Adrienne something was inducted into The Northern Kentucky High School Athletic Directors Hall Of Fame (1984-2007) on September 26, 2007.

Yes!! This is just the first step to complete and total recognition of the cheerleader’s athletic abilities and will to succeed. First step, the Northern Kentucky High School Athletic Directors Hall Of Fame, next step, the White House!

Although we proclaim that cheerleading is a sport, Adrienne was not inducted for her skills on the sidelines. In fact, she had an impressive high school and college career in track and field.

Who says cheerleading is not a sport?! Blasphemy! Those people should be ashamed of themselves.

…on top of maintaining a full time job, being a full time student and holding a part time cheerleader position, Adrienne is a full time mother! She is an extraordinary example of how Professional Cheerleaders continue to “break the mold” and “blaze new trails.” Again, we are more than what you see on the field. With diverse backgrounds and limitless career paths we continue to set positive examples for our communities.

Preach on sista! Break that mold! Blaze that trail! Set that positive example!

Some day soon the Professional Cheerleaders (that’s right, I am capitalizing it now) of the world will be running things and then you’ll see how sh*t gets done.

Source

Let The Good Times Roll: The PUMA Store