MICHELLE WIE: AGENT 0

by dswinder, Sons of Sam Malone

Well, it appears it’s time to chalk up another tally on Michelle Wie’s rise to shame. The eighteen-year old Stanford freshman was left without representation when her agent, Greg Nared, resigned Monday.

Nared, Wie’s second agent, said in an email to the AP, that he is thankful for the opportunity he has been given, but his resignation is effective immediately.

“After careful consideration for my future, I have resigned effective immediately. I’m very grateful to the William Morris Agency for the opportunity to work with world-class athletes. It has been an invaluable experience and I’ll forever cherish [it].”

The news should come as a heavy blow to Wie. Nared was there when the then seventeen-year old made the decision to withdraw from the Ginn Tribute earlier in the year after shooting 14-over through 16 holes. It may be time for Michelle Wie to rethink this whole professional golfing dream. The resignation of Nared is just icing on a cake, already mixed with high scoring averages (76.7), no rounds in the 60s, two cuts made, embarrassing performances, sketchy withdrawals, and more than her fair share of on course tears.

Maybe it’s time for Momma and Poppa Wie to let little Michelle spread her wings and fly; because it seems trekking the links isn’t turning out quite like they had drawn out in the ole retirement plan.

Source

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TORRANCE AND GALLACHER HAVE MONTY’S BACK

by dswinder, Sons of Sam Malone

Colin Montgomerie takes a lot of heat from the golf world, and Nick Faldo is no exception. Last week, Faldo, the Ryder Cup captain, criticized Monty, calling him hard to deal with and lacking in team spirit.

“Monty’s a tough one,” said Faldo. “He was the only one whose emotions I had to deal with. He had to be teased out on to the 18th green to support his team.”

Now, I obviously don’t know the Scot personally, but with a gun to my head, I’d have to say Nick Faldo is on to something with his criticisms. Sure, Monty gets a bad rap in the American media, but maybe it’s, I don’t know, somewhat accurate.

Regardless of what Colin’s attitude really was, two former European Ryder Cup captains, Sam Torrance and Bernard Gallacher, are jumping to the defense of the 44-year old Scotsman.

The 2002 captain, Torrance, was not in the least of agreement with the ‘08 captain, Faldo.

“To remotely suggest Colin’s not a team man is outrageous to say the least,” stated Torrance. “One thing Colin is, he is a team man.”

Torrance doesn’t think that Faldo acted the way a captain should by complaining about Montgomerie.

“You’ve got to keep a nice bit of decorum in the team room and keep them all happy. I’m sure Nick will learn from this and will have seen the error of his ways by criticizing Colin like that,” said Sam Torrance.

While Torrance showed obvious disdain for the comments of Faldo, three-time European captain, Bernard Gallacher, was able to trump Torrance in his level of disgust. Among other complaints, Gallacher was quick to say that Faldo’s comments were hypocritical at best.

“I never felt Nick was a real team player but I accepted that as a captain because he gave you points. He wasn’t a player like Seve, in as much as Seve would try and rule the team meetings and be out on the course rooting for the players. Nick always wanted to play with the best players. I went along with that because he was pretty good. But sometimes tactically you need to split the best players up. Seve was always up for that but Nick wasn’t,” said the three-time captain.

In addition to labeling Faldo pot to Montgomerie’s kettle, Gallacher shared the same sentiments as his cohort, Sam Torrance, in thinking Faldo’s comments were dangerous to the 2008 Ryder Cup squad. Said Gallacher,

“Nick will need a real fired-up player like Colin next time. He’ll need everything that Montgomerie can give to the team.”

Whatever the truth about Monty is, he should feel loved knowing that the two old chaps have his back. Now maybe he can go out and whine some more with the confidence to know that at least two people will step to the plate in his defense. I know I have no beef with the spat. The Americans will need all the help they can get, and a lovers quarrel is just the spark that’s needed to shake the European squad. Go USA!

(Source 1) (Source 2)

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JESPER PARNEVIK IS AWESOME AT GOLF

by Sooze, Babes Love Baseball

The guy generally sucks at dressing himself, but not today!

Sans mis-matched pastel attire and flipped bill, the sweet-swinging Swede certainly has my undivided attention this weekend.

Four months after jamming his foot into a full case of beer on his boat and stubbing his toe, Jesper Parnevik shot a 9-under 61 this afternoon — using both feet — a career best that opened up a four-stroke lead after the first round of the Texas Open.

Beginning the day with a bogey, he birdied the next eight of eleven holes. Jesper went on to birdie his final two holes as well, giving himself a nice shot at winning his sixth PGA Tour title and first since 2001.

With one 19-foot putt topped by a 25-footer in the middle of the round, Parnevik had nine one-putts in all, along with an impressive chip-in. But at 138th on the money list, he’ll have to keep the ball rolling this weekend to get within the Top 125 and keep his Tour card.

My only curiosity is the banishment of the bicyclist hat and hot pink trousers… has it helped his game? Is he still eating volcanic dust as a dietary supplement?

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WHY SETTLE FOR SELFISHNESS?

by dswinder, Sons of Sam Malone

With the ever-present concern with “me” that runs rampant in society, it’s not often that we really get to see self-sacrifice for the betterment of others. Athletes like Chad Johnson, Terrell Owens, Barry Bonds, etc. give a face to the growing culture of “me first”. Me before we. I before team. Stats before wins. All of these selfish ideas have encroached into sports to the point of becoming common place. Nowadays, selfishness outweighs team, and the sad part is – No one really cares, or maybe worse: No one even notices.

But while a team first attitude may be going the way of the dinosaurs, it’s not there yet.

I was inspired to write this article after hearing of a University of Tennessee golfer, Jonathan Mount. You see, Mount had a, what seems to be never ending, battle with injuries since he first stepped foot on the university as a freshman in 2004. In Mount’s first season with the Vols, he injured his hand on three separate occasions, causing him to redshirt his freshman year. Returning as a sophomore, Jonathan Mount was named to the second team All-SEC, and things were starting to look up for the soon to be junior. Mount returned his junior year hoping to improve on his impressive sophomore campaign, only to find out he had a small hole in his left knee. Eventually, his condition led him to dropping out of the NCAA Regionals.

So, what the hell does this have to do with self-sacrifice?

Jonathan Mount gave up his roster spot through reasoning that someone else would better serve the team. The real kicker? It was his decision. The even bigger kicker? He had already made a full recovery.

Now, maybe it’s just me, but couldn’t we use a little more of this “No I in team” attitude in today’s sports culture? Imagine if Keyshawn didn’t ever just want the damn ball. If T.O. had have been concerned with the Eagles. What if Pacman wasn’t obsessed with making it rain and getting into trouble? Mike Vick wasn’t so stupid? Jason Williams didn’t go against his contract and ride motorcycles? What if athletes didn’t hold out for fat checks and inflated egos? Isn’t that what sports are supposed to be about? Isn’t that the idea of a team?

Trust me, I’m not living in a bubble. I’m not blinded by naivety. Sports aren’t like that. They haven’t been. They probably never will be, and as fans, we’re okay with that. We’ve been lulled into seeing normalcy in selfishness, and I guess that’s okay as long as fans are still fans. But when I hear a story like this, it just makes me stop and wonder why.

Photo Courtesy of UT Sports

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WHO IS TO BLAME?

by Brian P. Foley, The College Baseball Blog

I don’t know about the rest of you but I am tired of turning on the television and seeing another athlete getting in trouble with performance enhancing drugs. In the last month, We have had Rodney Harrison suspended from the NFL for four games and Floyd Landis likely getting stripped of the Tour de France title in the very near future.

It is a not a new concept to use performance enhancing drugs. The East German Olympic teams became a power during the 1970’s and 1980’s after telling athletes to take vitamins which were filled with steroids. The athletes have either died from taking the steroids or facing major health concerns.

Did you know that 19 American medalists have failed drug tests before heading to the Olympic from 1988-2000? This is a huge cover-up by USOC that fails to get reported on because it deals with American athletes. We always love to blame Ben Johnson for taking Stanozolol in the 1988 Olympics but we fail to mention that Carl Lewis has a positive doping test at the 1988 Olympic trials. It was caused by taking OTC cold medicines based on what Lewis has said but he should have been banned for the Olympics for taking the stimulant. We could go on all day with different steroids scandals but we will spare you the details.

The people to blame for these massive steroids scandals are the commissioners or leaders of the International governing bodies. The PGA has put in new performance enhancing rules for the 2008 season which is suppose to cover all types of drugs. I read this week that some stuff will be allowed under certain circumstances. How can the PGA allow a player to use Propecia? The active ingredient in Propecia is Finasteride which is a masking agent for steroids. If this drug shows up in a drug test players should be immediately banned because of this fact. Is it fair to the player? Absolutely as they should know the rules. This is the rule that the World Anti-Doping Association recommends for all sports. One other example of a drug that can be used for golf is Beta-Blockers. This drug slows down your heart rate which would help golfers in a high stress environment like hitting a putt on the 18th hole to win a major. What is stopping an NFL player from taking HGH? The NFL only caught Rodney Harrison and Wade Wilson because of a government investigation into the lab where they bought the stuff from.

We are just giving you some examples of ways to get around the rules and how they are not strong enough. We have posted links below to some interesting stuff about Performance Enhancers.

Top 10 Drug Scandals
The 2007 World Anti-Doping Code Prohibited List

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SHOULDN’T FISHING REPLACE GOLF?

by The Original JD, Six Pack Sports Report

For those of you who read me other places or know me you are aware that I have been playing golf a lot lately. I spent the early part of this year in Florida where I played as much golf as possible on some of the nicest courses I have seen. Since I returned to Boston though I haven’t had the desire to grab my clubs and play until this past weekend. One of the things that I have realized since playing again is that golf stinks. For someone who is terrible at golf like myself the game is just half-a-day spent miserable and hot wondering whether or not you should drive the cart off a steep incline and end it all. My biggest problem with golf is the idea that it is this great opportunity for business people to talk about things, or buddies to smoke cigars and get outdoors. I’m not Lex Luthor so the prospect of having a gaggle of evil geniuses (geniusi?) in one place at one time has never come up but isn’t it reasonable to stop using golf as this socially acceptable outing and instead just go fishing?

Think about it – all the benefits of golfing are present in fishing. You’re outside, you can smoke, you can drink, you can talk to your business partners and if you’re lucky you can kill something that Greenpeace holds dear. Can anyone give me one reason why I should ever golf again when there is a perfectly good alternative where there is no requirement that I have to carry around a bag full of iron?

The only thing that golf has that fishing doesn’t is exercise. But almost everyone who isn’t a waterhead gets a cart when they go golfing so there is absolutely zero exercise going on through 18 holes. Fishing on the other hand is an opportunity to be outside and just relax – never during an afternoon fishing do you wonder whether or not you should bash your own face in with a nine iron to make the pain of the game go away. Fishing requires no extra skill sets – I’m pretty sure that the average Epic Carnival reader has the ability to sit, drink and speak.

What keeps people coming back to the golf course? Is it the misery that hitting a tiny white ball into a forest causes? Is it the pain of hearing a faint “splash?” Has anyone here who doesn’t consider themselves a good golfer ever had fun on a golf course that they couldn’t have had on a boat fishing? I mean when I have my SPSR board meetings I think it’s much more impressive to show off my fishing boat then it would be to show off my 3 wood.

Anyone who tries to tell me that you can’t replace golf with fishing because there is the chance that you won’t catch anything when you fish – I wish your mother had succeeded in poking you in the face with a wire hanger when you were in the womb. You are right that not everyone catches something when they go fishing but it’s still better then watching your boss contemplate suicide after he loses his third ball in two holes right?

So I throw it out to the Epic Carnival readers – why can’t we as a society stop pushing everyone towards golf and instead steer them towards the wonderful and non-aggravating world of fishing?

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THE AFTER PARTY

Kerlon Foquinha is a Brazilian soccer player with a bright future. That is, if he doesn’t get killed first. He uses the infamous “seal dribble” that angers virtually every defender he faces, so much so that they often just haul off and deck him. (Rumors and Rants)

Another take: I know what you’re thinking, what the hell is seal dribbling? It’s juggling the soccer ball on your head and running by guys and it’s causing a huge fuss in the soccer world. Should it be allowed? (The Beautiful Game)

The most amazing monkey athletics you’ll ever see. In Japan, he’s known as Pan the Sportsman. In America, he’s simply the finest tennis player and bowler we’ve ever seen. (The Blog of Hilarity)

Did the cheating Patriots curse the BoSox with bad karma? Does football karma have any effect on baseball karma? They ask a professional clairvoyant for her opinion. (Bugs & Cranks)

Maybe you don’t want to see this, or maybe you do. I’m not sure what gets you off. But anyway, this is Tiger, mid-round, taking a dump at the US Open before teeing off. (100% Injury Rate)

Dale Jr.’s sponsors will be Mountain Dew (which is fitting) and The National Guard. With a little digging, someone found out who the other “players” were that were in the running for Junior’s sponsor. (The Money Shot)

At the risk of appearing too obviously obsessed with ‘roids, we ask the question: Was the Juice juiced? Probably not. (Steroid Nation)

Tony LaRussa, out of Saint Louis? Say it isn’t so! He’s the greatest manager baseball has ever seen, what will the Cardinals ever do without him? We’re doomed! (I’m Writing Sports)

Esquire named the sports blog Girls Gone Sports one of their Top 100 things they love in our culture right now. Well, yeah, they have boobies! I kid, because I care. (Girls Gone Sports)

It’s just about time for the BBWAA to turn in their ballots for the yearly Major League Baseball awards. And it is also the time for bloggers to opine on how staggeringly dumb some of these writers are by casting our own votes on the awards. (Crashburn Alley)

Heather Graham is still yummalicious. (Popaholic)

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MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE FOLLOWING AUSTRALIAN GOLF

by WCK, 100% Injury Rate

I’m not sure how many of you follow Australian golf, but you’ll probably start doing that after you hear about this. It seems the lady off to your right is golf “star” Nikki Garrett. Yeah, I’d never heard of her either, but I’m sure you’d be happy to hear more.

Anyway, she’s actually involved in a somewhat interesting case over in Australia. She’s suing a magazine known as Zoo Weekly claiming the men’s mag made her out to be a prostitute.

See the problem is that the magazine published a picture of a scantily clad Garrett originally taken for the Women of Professional Golf calendar to raise money for charity – and of course the mag put a rather interesting caption below it (no, I don’t know what it was, but I can certainly guess).

Garrett said the article implied she was a person who would be photographed in lewd sexual poses for a “low-grade, smutty magazine like Zoo Weekly.”

She claimed it falsely portrayed her as “a prostitute” and sexually promiscuous, “so lustful she likes having sex on a golf course,” and the type of girl who “has sex indiscriminately.”

Anyway, she’s suing for defamation (which she won’t win because she’s a public figure) and breach of copyright (which she probably will win if the magazine didn’t get permission to use the picture).

But either way, you now have a reason to follow Australian golf.

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DOTTIE PEPPER’S KIND OF A C*NT

by BOHChris, Blog of Hilarity

In the high stakes world of women’s golf, there’s always a good chance that tempers will flare. So many colorful personalities and so much public interest makes the spotlight extra bright for female golfers. Thus, it’s no shock that tempers are flaring after rambunctions comments by golfer Dottie Pepper in which she calls the American Women’s team “chokin’ freakin’ dogs“. And with the passion and moxie you can only get from women’s golf, the American Team ended up winning the *cough* prestigious Solheim Cup.

Dominating the singles matches as they typically have, the Americans celebrated one of the most coveted wins in women’s golf Sunday, a 16-12 decision over Europe that ended any thought they might be the “chokin’ freakin’ dogs” that TV analyst Dottie Pepper said they were.

On Saturday, after the United States turned a couple of looming wins into disappointing ties, Pepper called the Americans “chokin’ freakin’ dogs.” It was a comment Pepper made when she thought she was off the air, but wasn’t.

“It was hurtful, very, very hurtful to all of us on the team,” assistant captain Beth Daniel said. “Dottie’s been there. She knows what it’s like. Even if she said it off the air, it was ill-spirited.”

Ill-spirited? Why with that kind of tough talk, we may end up seeing these two gems of the fairway square off in another very important women’s sport: Foxy boxing. Nothing gets me off harder than a couple of women in mullets fighting for Ovular Superiority. Finally, something to replace the hole in my heart that the conclusion of the WNBA Finals has left behind.

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Late Night Fun: Golf and Acid Finally Unite

by WCK, 100% Injury Rate

This video has sort of been circulating the web of late and it’s just bizarre beyond belief. It’s a 1971 video from the BBC by the band Caravan. The song is Golf Girl, and it’s about raining H-Bombs and tea on the green and other strangely psychedelic golf analogies. Moral of the story, either do drugs or do golf, but definitely not both.

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