FRIED COOKIE DOUGH, SEXY COEDS AND FOOTBALL

by Mike, The Pig Pen

As my friends and I drove into to Dallas for the festivities surrounding Texas/OU weekend, we all knew come Sunday either two things were going to happen. One, we’d be in jail for abusing alcohol, sex, drugs and the 3 A.M. shift at the local Denny’s. Or two, we wouldn’t be in jail for abusing alcohol, sex, drugs and the 3 A.M. shift at the local Denny’s. There’s no way around it. Texas/OU. The Cotton Bowl. The State Fair of Texas. And even a little Friday night NHL hockey to jump start the trip. Load a bowl to calm down, and the weekend begins.

The rivalry between Texas and Oklahoma is filled with rich tradition which is displayed in an atmosphere unlike any other in sports. From the historic feel of the newly-renovated 78-year old Cotton Bowl to the sexy coeds from Texas and Oklahoma who continue to wear jean skirts so short that they make Paris Hilton and Britney Spears look righteous. But the most prominent distinction between other rivalries across the country and Texas/OU is, of course, the State Fair of Texas.

The biggest fair in the world is home to the Cotton Bowl which means hundreds of thousands of people ranging from football fans to butter sculpture enthusiasts invade the fair grounds throughout the weekend. Instead of “tailgating” Texas and Oklahoma fans have the privilege of getting sauced before the game while eating an assortment of indulging foods stretching from fried peanut butter jelly and banana sandwiches to fried cookie dough until kickoff. A sea of maroon and burnt orange, a color which reminds me to wipe my ass, swarm the Midway before entering the now 91,000 seat stadium.

As most of you might know, seating assignments are not as simple as home sideline and away sideline. Instead, the two colors are separated directly down the 50-yard line. A tradition you can’t find at any other football game. Nearly 100,000 football fans inside the stadium while thousands upon thousands watch intently on a delayed television directly outside. It’s interesting watching a game when you can hear the crowds reaction 10 seconds before you get to see what actually happened. So interesting I even lost $100 to a friend when we decided to start betting on the outcomes to certain plays based on the noise and where it’s coming from.
I might as well have shoved a $100 bill up my ass.

When the game ended, fans from the winning team usually hang around the fair grounds for a little bit longer why the losers head home to make some terrible Saturday night decisions. For me personally, it’s always pleasing when Texas loses because nothing tickles my fancy more than seeing a mass quantity of Longhorn fans all with this look of confusion and disappointment on their faces. A “We’re not a sweet as we f**king think” look just stamped across their forehead. And I love it.

Ah yes, there’s nothing better than Texas/OU weekend.

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